Sexual Misconduct / Title IX Domestic Violence
Domestic violence is often most associated with
physical abuse in a relationship. However, domestic violence also
includes sexual, emotional, economic and
psychological violence. Initially, identifying the signs of an abusive
relationship can be difficult, especially if the abuser uses subtle tactics to
gain power and control. However, understanding common occurrences or
patterns of an unhealthy relationship and becoming informed of the types of
domestic violence can help. In fact, many abusive partners may seem
absolutely perfect in the early stages of a relationship. Possessive and
controlling behaviors don’t always appear overnight, but rather emerge and
intensify as the relationship grows. Domestic violence can happen to anyone of
any race, age, sexual orientation, religion or gender. It can happen to couples
who are married, living together or who are dating.
You may be in an emotionally abusive relationship if your partner: Prevents contact
and communication with friends and family, abusers prefer to isolate their
partners in order to exert more power and control over them Causes
embarrassment with bad names and put-downs. Often times, put downs can be
disguised as jokes and when their partner addresses being
embarrassed by the jokes/comments, the abuser disregards their
partners feelings calling them “overly sensitive” Critical about
survivors appearance and/or behavior Attempts to control
what partner wears (makeup, hair and clothes) Controls money in
the household (where money is spent, taking victims money, or
refusing to give victim money for their own expenses) Abusers often
control important identification, such as driver’s licenses, social
security cards, birth certificates and passports Extremely jealous
and possessive, expects victim to ask for permission for any activity Stalking or
Monitoring victims everyday moves, through phone or GPS tracking system Has unrealistic
expectations, the abuser expect their partner to be available at all times Prevents/Discourages
partner from working or going to school, in order to gain more control Acts like abuse is
not a big deal, or denies it’s happening Plays mind games to
place blame on the survivor Destroys victims
property to intimidate or gain control Threatens to kill
family members or pets Threatens to take
away or hurt the children Threatens to commit
suicide in order to gain control over their victim Intimidates with
guns, knives or other weapons Shoves, slaps,
chokes, hits Refusing to use
protection when having sex or sabotaging birth control Forces sexual acts
on victim, including pressuring partner to have sex with others Forces or pressures
victim to use alcohol and/or drugs Promises to change
abusive behavior but the cycle keeps repeating itself
You may be in a physically abusive relationship if you partner has
ever: Damaged property
when angry (thrown objects, punched walls, kicked doors) Pushed, slapped,
bitten, kicked, or choked you. Abandoned you in a
dangerous or familiar place. Used a weapon to
threaten or hurt you. Forced you to leave
your home or kept you from leaving. Prevented you from
calling police or seeking medical attention. Hurt your children,
family members or pets
If there is something about your relationship
that scares you, call the National
Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Someone
is available 24 hours a day, 365 days a year to listen and provide information
to help you get safe. You can also visit http://www.thehotline.org/ for
additional information regarding domestic violence and abuse Safety Strategies Think of a safe
place to go if an argument occurs—avoid rooms with no exits (like the
bathroom), or rooms with weapons (such as the kitchen). If possible keep
cash/car keys within reach just in case you have to leave the home Think about and
make a list of safe people to contact. Memorize all
important numbers. Establish a “code
word or sign” so that family, friends, teachers, or co-workers know when
to call for help. Think about what
you will say to your partner if he/she becomes violent. Remember you have
the right to live without fear and violence. For more information on how to create a Safety
Plan CLICK HERE
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